I can’t have an ‘all the best‘ or a ‘have a nice life’.
Our hearts are raw and in pain.
How awful this end for a husband and his wife.
No listening was done, and she couldn’t open his eyes.
Beyond the mirror and his self obsessed life.
When friends they were, open they spoke.
Calmly they loved and often they would joke.
But husband somehow changed, as did the wife
When they realised how intense was their life
They built up walls
And cried for hours
They destroyed softness
With their magic powers
The ones they were meant to use for love
They used to destroy
The scared little girl and the frightened boy
For a moment she thought perhaps he was more
Than what she ended up bargaining for
Letting him in to such a sacred space,
Within her soul family
She lost her face
At least he didn’t meet her blood
At least she didn’t get covered in mud
At least she realised before it was too late
The man was a boy, a fragile state.
She thought she could hold him.
Make him feel brave.
She knew she could love him
To the end of her days.
If only he listened to her open heart
We would not have created her new scar
I guess alone like the wolf she always was.
And back to the sea returns his cross
In the dreams they sail together holding hands
Swimming the seas and dancing on sands
Until distant becomes their memory,
Their love fades away,
They get distracted by others
And new games they start to play
For now that’s just a wishful thought
As the wife she sits a sobbing
Saying farewell to her beautiful husband
While her heart is weak and throbbing
Tag: Longing
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With all the anticipation of a kids birthday
My body went into decline
Everything started failing
And no one knew the time
No one knew my thoughts
No one cared how I felt
The empty questions unanswered
As I undid my car seat belt
No one saw it coming
No one read the signs
The crash that could of been prevented
Went full force in front of their eyes
I guess I got too tired
Time to go home I guess
All the guessing with no certainly
No wonder I was in a mess
I can see me lying there lifeless
My jeans covered in blood
The paramedic trying to revive me
“It’s too late, her heart has stopped“
I watch the scene for a second
Before I drift away
Back to where I came from
To live another day -
I’m sick
The pan is on fire
Can someone turn off the heat?
I’m sick
The pan is on fire
How many times do I have to repeat?!
I’m sick
My house is on fire
Time for me to retreat
I’m sick
Back to my bed
Let the flames engulf my feet
Come soothe my soul while I take time to heal
Come dampen the fire around me
I’ve not the energy to be your muse
While my body cries sick so gently
It just wants holding while it weeps
Not the heat of the flames
It’s heavy with water leaked out from sky
Perhaps one pop will do wonders
Like a water balloon on a summers day
I can save my house by exploding
And off down the drain my water can run
Back to the river I was born in -
I’m still learning to unlearn
My hearts too full
I feel a burn
I wander between extremes of sorts
Belonging and abandonment
Torn between the pull and fall
The heart that contemplates it all
The woman that has seen the world
For the man who completes the mould
It’s hard to understand the pain
That doesn’t exist
Is this all in vain?
She closes her eyes and sees his heart
Lovingly torn apart
She knows not what to do
She knows her eyes long for you
The juxtaposed ideas wane
The tears subside and begin to drain
The sun returns and casts her glare
The love warms they return to share
The inner child they promised to hold
The love they defrost from the cold
I do not know where it goes
I fear for the love I show
If it’s too much I guess I lose
For honesty is all I chose
Poetry be my hidden centre
Brave begins this lyrical banter
Shakespeare gave Juliet her centre
A muse to devote her complicated heart
Her loving words, her form of art -
The weekend wasn’t enough
When her share was halved
She longed to stop time for a moment
Gaze at his face
Feel his warm embrace
The lump in her throat as he left
Scared by her feelings, she pushed him
Put on her mask and told a good tale
Stories she wrote
But honest she was not
For the story that hurt her was this one
Waiting on the sea she’ll find him
Once she finished her ship
But weak and unsure if she’ll make it
And perhaps another love he will meet
Unfinished and hidden went the story
Afraid she’d scare him away
Masked she slunk into the shadows
Feeling safe, the little sparrow was brave
Alas, she promised to be true
And love hard she does do
Bare all! Surrender to the universe
Whatever will be, will be
If her husband is meant to be waiting
Then waiting she will find he
If not, then just enjoy what is
Let go of what you cannot grasp
Allow the waters to settle
Hold her own heart in a clasp
Unable to stop her falling
She falls all the time
Clumsy she is with her feelings
But meh, it makes for good rhymes -
He waved her goodbye at the station
A lump embedded in his throat
Not knowing when he’ll next see her
Assigned a mission for which he must devote
Will he return? He hopes so
But honestly he didn’t know
His love he waves goodbye at the station
Off to the war, an enemy to overthrow -
Don’t be an actor
But it’s what he became
To hide the melancholy
That leaked from his heart
His muse was that
And remember it he must
Sadness must leak
To the steel page and rust
Forever erode
Eternally create
The darkness that follows
The joy he recreates
Change the scene
Swap the players
The writer must fall
Into the madness
Stay in the moment
Feel it well
Breathe it in
Let the heart swell
Over and over
Never still
Like the tide on the shore
Or a shallow English well
Breathe it in
Let it go
The creators journey
He must let it flow -
I fell for the sun
I was born chasing it
But somehow I got trapped under a cloud
I long for the warmth
I crave it
And seek it in places that don’t do me proud
I see the light in you
And I see it in me
Yet I forsake it for struggles of worth
I’m so proud of you
You abandoned me
Yet beside me we felt a rebirth
Sail across the seas
Come coax me
Send me your beautiful face
Look into my eyes
Unlock this
Tell my spirit to join the race
She’s at the line
Just sleeping
It’s been a while she was free
Your intensity
She needs it
You spur her to unleash -
You told me to find a guy who would treat me good
You told me to stop chasing the pretty boys
The universe heard us and cast her spell
And today we met at a drinking well.
She aligned so much in both our hearts
Our dreams our hurt our disregards
Pure of blood, kind of heart
And yet I feel torn apart
I feel like I’m settling
I feel somewhere there’s more
How selfish can I be, to turn down this score
Highest ranking compatibity in both our signs
But the fire? The fire?
He’ll look after me
The fire?
Do I turn and walk away in search for flames?
Or do I hold his hand and agree to stay?
The fire! The… fire…. Do I… stay? -
Why am I here God?
Why am I here?
What is my purpose?
I’m drifting God
I no longer feel
the earth between my toes
Something is calling
Is it a mirror
Or is it You?
Time is trickling
As I fumble, I try
to force the story through
Will You come for me
Or do I need to seek You?
Are You already here?
If I stop I can feel
You’re presence is like air
Everywhere I am
I just need to stop
Listen & feel
I feel you
Why am I here?
Still unsure
Why I am here?
I guess I will fumble
Until I find the ground again
Maybe then I can answer the call