I’m struggling today my love
I’m struggling with grief
Somehow the future slipped from us
Was it something we did?
An April fools trick?
Or is this a test from beyond us?
It seems really silly
To be this upset
But something has changed within me
A switch has been flicked
Time has ticked
And now somehow I feel empty
I know deep down it’s for the best
We weren’t quite ready
And now we can plan a bit better
Not carried by the storm
All fuzzy and warm
We can prepare, go slow and steady
I hope you’re ok
And not feeling too strange
With this brief whirlwind we got caught in
I’ll finish my letter
Catch ya later patata
Sending kisses a million
x x x
Tag: Guilt
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She ground her feet
Connected to the sky
Placed all her trust in what’d be
Upturn her world
While excitement unfurled
But two lines soon became one
The future reset
She wondered the cost
The river started to run red
‘Six revert to five‘ she thought
Mourning the loss
Of the baby that never was -
He stared at the red hand of his wife
Why are you bleeding?
She looked at his hand holding the knife
I’m sorry, I just have this feeling
They both stared immovable
For her being so naive, he started to shout
Wiping tears with her sleeve, she bowed out
No words can be heard by the deaf. -
The warrior stands there panting
Bodies sprawled in blood
Was this battle worth it
Was it worth it for this mud
She looks across the horizon
Her heart filled with pain
She brings her eyes in closer
To see a child with bloodied veins
Palms turned over, she’s shaking
She crumbles to her knees
Let’s out a mighty howl
The sound echoes through the trees
The tone of pure despair
From her deepest corners
A memory from her childhood
Glazes her eyes for a moment
She remembers playing in these fields
Laughing, joking, running
Now her eyes turn to her friend
Who is no longer breathing
She inhales deep, gathers herself
Her energy has shifted
Back to what she came to do
For this she will be gifted
The last battle done, she can retire
She longs for the tranquil ocean
Sitting on a quiet beach
Watching the waves in motion
She turns away and grabs the flag
Walks towards her horse that waits
They both have done enough today
And they leave the city gates. -
She watched the little donkey
Looking at the egg
He didn’t understand how to boil it
She gave him the pan
And a simple plan
But the donkey just couldn’t relay it
With a roll of her eyes
She offered to help
As dozens of eggs had been broken
With his clumsy hooves
She wanted to prove
His appendages weren’t the problem
The issue was the story he told himself
The useless victim ass
Repeating old stories
It got very boring
She thought he’d never pass the class
Children came and went
But the little donkey stayed put
Focused on this oval mystery
How can something hard
Be runny inside
His brain delved into history
“Which came first the chicken or the egg?“
She looked at him in dispair
“We’re just boiling an egg!
For the love of a Greggs!
Can you get your head in gear?“
The donkey bowed his head
A tear hit the floor
She really did feel awful
Maybe she didn’t have the patience
To teach this delinquent
The tears started to pour
She left the room
Left the donkey inside
And went into the garden
Breathed the fresh air
As a fly went past her hair
Suddenly she noticed her face had hardened
She wondered how long she had been frowning like that
Forehead furrowed and stern
She closed her eyes
Let out a huge sigh
Ready with her self back in alignment
She packed all her tools
Walked out of the school
And let someone else deal with that donkeys assigment. -
There was a man who lived on the sea
Who had a dying wife
Each day he would serenade her
And warm her heart each night
She got sicker and sicker
But little did he know
Since the smile that shone out of her
Dazzled the darkest boats
So the man went to the port
And met a young lady
They had their way on the beach
While the wife lay in pain
The man returned and told his wife
He felt confused by his actions
But the wife simply passed away
Her soul abandoned her in seconds
Looking down she watched them
No longer who they were
Saddened by this tragedy
Both beyond repair
She looked across the bed frame
And up towards the night
There was his soul opposite
His eyes blue like the sky
No words came out of their mouths
But so much was shared
Without their bodies
Only love was heard
It filled the sky like an explosion
It warmed the earth for days
They wondered as they floated back
Could they survive this phase
They slowly returned to atoms
Into denseness they were cramped
She opened her eyes as he held her hand
And for life they did thank. -
You told me to find a guy who would treat me good
You told me to stop chasing the pretty boys
The universe heard us and cast her spell
And today we met at a drinking well.
She aligned so much in both our hearts
Our dreams our hurt our disregards
Pure of blood, kind of heart
And yet I feel torn apart
I feel like I’m settling
I feel somewhere there’s more
How selfish can I be, to turn down this score
Highest ranking compatibity in both our signs
But the fire? The fire?
He’ll look after me
The fire?
Do I turn and walk away in search for flames?
Or do I hold his hand and agree to stay?
The fire! The… fire…. Do I… stay? -
Be careful what you teach her
Her view must match your words
Repeating blatant lies will sink
Like a breeze block into the lake
She’ll watch it drag you under
As the bubbles start to rise
The truth taken with you
You’d rather bask in disguise
What am I afraid of?
You. That you will hurt her heart
That she will see your weakness
And you will tear her apart
Your shadow stood before me
As it stands above her now
And you pretend you’re Jesus
Rather heal strangers than take a bow
It’s ok to not know everything
It’s ok to learn as we go
But we need to live our truth
So we can teach her to do so
I don’t want to fight with you
I left to soothe my scars
I won’t let you mould her
To build a mountain of masks
I learnt to let my light shine
I see her light glow
Let’s help her find her wings
Let’s watch our little girl grow -
A man of five foot ten
Olive green head to toe
Akin to a backpacker
Of a snowy mountain or so
A face shifty and in flight
He darted through the dark night
Weaving through the streets
With a handbag studded cream
Rummaging in the alley
Walking really fast
God is watching him
Karma’ll glaze her rath
Sweep over this shadow
Who somehow lost his way
I prey he finds the light
And the girl is ok -
Little stolen moments of peace
One would think they would be enjoyed
But alas there follows a little caterpillar
Named Master P Guilt O’Lloyd
He crawls behind me of a day
And pipes up when things go quiet
He reminds me of where I am
And how I want to be in the riot
Or beside my freshly laid child
Snoozing side by side again
Not grasping at my me time
He thinks my job is not yet done
He creeps on my shoulder when I’m staring
Out the window to block out the noise
Of that constant chitter chatter
And the sound of those blinkin toys
Yet I know he’s right and in I go
Back into the madness
Those three seconds were enough
I’ll look back with fondness
When she’s grown and flown the nest
When her room lies empty
I’ll pray for those moments back
When I was hiding in the pantry
Sin Agua Poetry Blog 