I’m struggling today my love
I’m struggling with grief
Somehow the future slipped from us
Was it something we did?
An April fools trick?
Or is this a test from beyond us?
It seems really silly
To be this upset
But something has changed within me
A switch has been flicked
Time has ticked
And now somehow I feel empty
I know deep down it’s for the best
We weren’t quite ready
And now we can plan a bit better
Not carried by the storm
All fuzzy and warm
We can prepare, go slow and steady
I hope you’re ok
And not feeling too strange
With this brief whirlwind we got caught in
I’ll finish my letter
Catch ya later patata
Sending kisses a million
x x x
Category: Motherhood
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She ground her feet
Connected to the sky
Placed all her trust in what’d be
Upturn her world
While excitement unfurled
But two lines soon became one
The future reset
She wondered the cost
The river started to run red
‘Six revert to five‘ she thought
Mourning the loss
Of the baby that never was -
What is a team?
Not this, we say. Not this.
You want to talk my dear?
Wait for the child to sleep, can we?
Oh! You’re more important?!
[She breathes, her heart dead weight]
A single male in the wild can never be trusted, for he will kill the cubs for his gain
How human are we?
Not much, I say. Not much.
There’s not much to say my dear
Actions speak louder than words, it seems.
Oh! I guess this isn’t important!
[She breathes, her heart more weight than gold]
A mother will never feel bad for sacrificing a man for the welfare and love of her child.
How human are we?
We are mothers! Regardless of species.
We are women.
We are what it means to be humane.
Something a man may never truly understand… -
She looked at his shoulders
Gazed in his eyes
The glint in his stare
Caught her by surprise
She guarded the cave
Until she was sure
The little ones inside
Were to be harmed no more
She let him advance
Watching every move
Until the cubs came in sight
The claws dug a groove
An emergency evacuation?
No! Jugular on repeat
Weakening his heart
Unsteadying his feet
She left him lie by the cave
As a warning to others
Cubs will be protected
Forever by their mother -
The road was long and bright
The sun she flowed so proud
Glistening on the metallic grey
That vroomed past the crowd
The music filled the air
Un chanson debonair
The passengers chuckling
And dancing quite au faire
The atmosphere got thick
Filled with all this love
The tiny little particles
Glowed, glistened and shone
How wonderful this moment
Shared between these two
Mummy and her little girl
The perfect roadtrip crew -
Why hold me just to release me
Just as I’m about to learn to swim
Allowing me to drown for a moment
In hope that I will win
This battle we created for survival
But makes no sense at heart
The children left drowning
Emotionally torn apart
And all our lives we seek to find
The one who helps us swim
Seeking guidance from untouchables
Instead of searching within
Until we find our own strength
A fire bright inside
Breathing deep and standing firm
Holding that child who cried -
He closes his eyes, and there is darkness
The world stops and he can breathe once again,
He turns within and reaches out
To the hand that holds him
So gently yet firm guides his swim
He trusts her, so waves his limbs
Looking back she’s getting further away
Her smile, his security
The confidence he has to win
He let go, now he’s free
His mother watches him leave
Abandoned by design
She wipes a tear on to her sleeve
The smile still prevalent
Her heart in a race
Her offspring fully fledged
She can no longer see his face
Alone with the feathers
A simple memory for one
Her love undeniable
Nests indentation of an empty son
Long she forgot who she was
A mother seems all she knows
Her independence simply subjective
To the outside that come and goes
Passing like the daily sun
Clockwork they cast their shadow
Throwing in their pennies
Judging the falling sparrow -
Cuddle monkey where are you?
Did you move away?
Have you run away from me?
I can’t find you in the duvet
Oh what’s that?!
A little foot!
Why’s that by my face?
You’ve turned 180
And taken all the space
Stop your wriggling
That’s a kick
Sleeping with you hurts
Oh! Are you serious?!
The air smells like farts
Cuddle monkey just for once
Can we sleep normal?!
Bleugh! I guess not
You’re snoring like Old Colonel
Oh well, I guess I must
Be happy with whatever
I love you even with your stink
I’ll cherish you forever. -
Be careful what you teach her
Her view must match your words
Repeating blatant lies will sink
Like a breeze block into the lake
She’ll watch it drag you under
As the bubbles start to rise
The truth taken with you
You’d rather bask in disguise
What am I afraid of?
You. That you will hurt her heart
That she will see your weakness
And you will tear her apart
Your shadow stood before me
As it stands above her now
And you pretend you’re Jesus
Rather heal strangers than take a bow
It’s ok to not know everything
It’s ok to learn as we go
But we need to live our truth
So we can teach her to do so
I don’t want to fight with you
I left to soothe my scars
I won’t let you mould her
To build a mountain of masks
I learnt to let my light shine
I see her light glow
Let’s help her find her wings
Let’s watch our little girl grow -
Little stolen moments of peace
One would think they would be enjoyed
But alas there follows a little caterpillar
Named Master P Guilt O’Lloyd
He crawls behind me of a day
And pipes up when things go quiet
He reminds me of where I am
And how I want to be in the riot
Or beside my freshly laid child
Snoozing side by side again
Not grasping at my me time
He thinks my job is not yet done
He creeps on my shoulder when I’m staring
Out the window to block out the noise
Of that constant chitter chatter
And the sound of those blinkin toys
Yet I know he’s right and in I go
Back into the madness
Those three seconds were enough
I’ll look back with fondness
When she’s grown and flown the nest
When her room lies empty
I’ll pray for those moments back
When I was hiding in the pantry
Sin Agua Poetry Blog 